Self Esteem is how a person judges or values their worth. Quite often people have low self esteem because their trying to live up to someone else’s expectations of who or what they should be. It’s important to realize that we are who we are, everyone is unique and different and as long as we do what’s right we should live our lives without concern of what other think. Following I have listed a few tips that can help anyone improve their self esteem.
1. Don’t compare yourself to others. The number one item everyone needs to consider to raise their self esteem is not to compare themselves to others, whether it’s family, friends, neighbors or co-workers, don’t compare yourself. You’ve heard to old saying about The Grass Is Always Greener… well, it’s true; everyone is unique and has their own strengths and weaknesses. People will tend to focus only on someone else’s strong points, money, career, marriage, children but overlook their weaknesses. Be happy with whom you are and what you have, keep in mind that some of your strengths that you overlook may be something a friend wished they possessed.
2. Always keep your thoughts positive. Negative thoughts will breed low self esteem while positive thoughts will improve your self esteem. There is something good about everyone, so focus on your strengths and give yourself a pat on the back every day for your accomplishments. Even though they may seem trivial to us, everyone has great qualities that someone else would love to have, discover your great qualities and be proud of them. Have you ever heard someone say so and so:
- Has great hair
- Has a fantastic smile
- Is a good listener
- Is a hard worker
- Knows their way around the kitchen
- Is a fantastic parent
- Is well liked
These are all good qualities that people posses and often don’t realize it. Take time to find what you have or do that others admire and congratulate yourself.
3. Do good deeds for others. Have you ever noticed how good you feel after doing something good for another person? It doesn’t have to be big, opening the door, taking out the trash, cutting the grass or volunteering a few hours helping the needy, just spending a few minutes each day helping someone else can make you feel good.
4. Provide Positive Stimulation. Take part in positive activities, something to make you feel good. It could be something as simple as reading an inspiring book, watching a great movie or listening to a motivational speech.
5. Surround yourself with supportive people. Far too often I see individuals with low self esteem hanging out with the wrong crowd. They tend to hang out with people that have qualities they themselves don’t have but desire and usually end up trying to live up to the expectations of the group which makes them feel bad about themselves. Instead, you need to hang out with people who accept and respect you for who you are and not someone you’re trying to become, this group will support and encourage you and help improve your self esteem.
6. Track your successes. Make a list of all your achievements and accomplishments regardless of how large or small. Taking the time to write down and review all of your successes can go a long way in improving self esteem.
7. Say Thank You to all compliments. Often times I give someone a compliment and they respond with No Big Deal or Think Nothing of It, basically their refusing my compliment and that’s a quick way to lower their self esteem. When you brush off a compliment (whether you realize it or not) your saying I’m not worthy of your praise instead, accept every compliment with a Thank You; you’ll feel good about yourself and you’ll help to build your self esteem.
8. List your positive qualities. I find that when I take time to put something down on paper it has a greater impact and bring things to light. Listing your positive qualities will help you realize the type of person you are and allow you to focus on what produces positive results in your life. This list doesn’t have to be extensive, just taking the time to think and write things down can be a huge benefit. Here’s what your quality list may look like:
People often have low self esteem when they try to be somebody that their not. We all have our own set of strengths, weaknesses and talents. What we need to do is discover who we are and what we can do and focus on those qualities, as long as we’re true to ourselves and be who we are, we’ll find life to be more positive and enjoyable.