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How Parenting Styles Can Help Children Develop Self Control
Young children tend to misbehave, cry when they need or want something that they cannot
have, and throw tantrums. One important trait that a parent needs to instil in their children is
self-control. Parents can, and must, teach their children to have self-control so that they have
a sense of discipline. Parents are actually instrumental and crucial to a child’s development
and growth, their interactions and relations help form the child’s character and eventually
have an effect on their self-control, or lack thereof.
When parents discipline their children, the manner that this is done makes a big difference.
The language the parent uses to talk to the child, the tone, and the consistency, are important
for the child’s learning curve. Communication skills are very important, and parents must
remember never yell at a child, to keep things calm and relaxed while carefully explaining
things to them, and be consistent with rules. Parents must also use simple words, and give a
lot of attention to their children.
The most important trait that parents need to possess especially during disciplining is
patience. Children will learn in time, and as they reach the age where they go to school, it will
be easier to teach them. Children also mimic what they see in their environment, so parents
must act as a model to children’s behaviour. There are other more detailed ways that parents
can help their children establish self-control, as discussed here.
Be moderate and allow your child to make mistakes. Do not be too strict or too lenient. Allow
your child to make mistakes, or else he will not learn. Being too strict and punishing a child
for making mistakes will only cause them to be introverted, afraid to voice their opinions, and
afraid of you. If you are moderate in your style of disciplining, your child will soon learn the
patterns and the differences in making the right and wrong choices in behaviour.
If your child throws tantrums, give him a time out by putting him in a room where he cannot
have what he wants but he only is confronted by his own frustration. Stay with him until he is
calmed down. Make sure that when you give rules, they are firm and consistent, and do not
make use of negative reinforcement or else your child will associate doing well with negative
connotations. Moderate parenting will bring about a child that knows the consequences and
responsibilities of their actions; and one that is confident in making the right decisions. Being
too lenient on the other hand will not teach your child anything.
Ignoring non-destructive behaviour - Certain behaviours of children demand attention and
disciplining, such as when they start to throw blocks or hit other people as a result of their
frustration. During times like these, parents must learn to acknowledge the situation that the
child is going through, and express that they understand the reasons for their frustration but
that their actions are no way of justifying it. Only when their behaviour hurts other people
should it demand adequate attention. For example, if a child mindlessly plays with his food
instead of eating it, it would be more useful to ignore it.
Be selective with the behaviour, with which you draw attention to, because soon enough the
child will forget about the wrong behaviour. When he is doing something good, give positive
reinforcement and praise him. He will remember this and keep doing so.
Positive reinforcement - Always remember to give your child smiles, hugs and kisses. When
he behaves, and when he makes a change in behaviour from throwing tantrums to contently
sitting quietly, praise him by telling him, “Good job!” or other praise words. He needs
affirmation and love from you as a parent; he needs to know that you are guiding him and
that you love him. Remember that spoiling your child will not result in a happy child. If you
can teach him self-control, he will be a happy child and you both will have a healthy, happy
relationship.
Young children tend to misbehave, cry when they need or want something that they cannot
have, and throw tantrums. One important trait that a parent needs to instil in their children is
self-control. Parents can, and must, teach their children to have self-control so that they have
a sense of discipline. Parents are actually instrumental and crucial to a child’s development
and growth, their interactions and relations help form the child’s character and eventually
have an effect on their self-control, or lack thereof.
When parents discipline their children, the manner that this is done makes a big difference.
The language the parent uses to talk to the child, the tone, and the consistency, are important
for the child’s learning curve. Communication skills are very important, and parents must
remember never yell at a child, to keep things calm and relaxed while carefully explaining
things to them, and be consistent with rules. Parents must also use simple words, and give a
lot of attention to their children.
The most important trait that parents need to possess especially during disciplining is
patience. Children will learn in time, and as they reach the age where they go to school, it will
be easier to teach them. Children also mimic what they see in their environment, so parents
must act as a model to children’s behaviour. There are other more detailed ways that parents
can help their children establish self-control, as discussed here.
Be moderate and allow your child to make mistakes. Do not be too strict or too lenient. Allow
your child to make mistakes, or else he will not learn. Being too strict and punishing a child
for making mistakes will only cause them to be introverted, afraid to voice their opinions, and
afraid of you. If you are moderate in your style of disciplining, your child will soon learn the
patterns and the differences in making the right and wrong choices in behaviour.
If your child throws tantrums, give him a time out by putting him in a room where he cannot
have what he wants but he only is confronted by his own frustration. Stay with him until he is
calmed down. Make sure that when you give rules, they are firm and consistent, and do not
make use of negative reinforcement or else your child will associate doing well with negative
connotations. Moderate parenting will bring about a child that knows the consequences and
responsibilities of their actions; and one that is confident in making the right decisions. Being
too lenient on the other hand will not teach your child anything.
Ignoring non-destructive behaviour - Certain behaviours of children demand attention and
disciplining, such as when they start to throw blocks or hit other people as a result of their
frustration. During times like these, parents must learn to acknowledge the situation that the
child is going through, and express that they understand the reasons for their frustration but
that their actions are no way of justifying it. Only when their behaviour hurts other people
should it demand adequate attention. For example, if a child mindlessly plays with his food
instead of eating it, it would be more useful to ignore it.
Be selective with the behaviour, with which you draw attention to, because soon enough the
child will forget about the wrong behaviour. When he is doing something good, give positive
reinforcement and praise him. He will remember this and keep doing so.
Positive reinforcement - Always remember to give your child smiles, hugs and kisses. When
he behaves, and when he makes a change in behaviour from throwing tantrums to contently
sitting quietly, praise him by telling him, “Good job!” or other praise words. He needs
affirmation and love from you as a parent; he needs to know that you are guiding him and
that you love him. Remember that spoiling your child will not result in a happy child. If you
can teach him self-control, he will be a happy child and you both will have a healthy, happy
relationship.
Positive Self-Development for Sport and Life
Unless you want to miss out on the most exciting information about
self development for sport and life in a Decade!
Self-Development for Sales People
Do you want to improve your sales and your profits? Do you want
to break all the sales records in your office?
Self-Healing and Development
Do you ever feel as though you could do more with your life? Wish
you could have better health?
Understanding Your Dreams
Do you ever wonder what your dreams mean?
Unless you want to miss out on the most exciting information about
self development for sport and life in a Decade!
Self-Development for Sales People
Do you want to improve your sales and your profits? Do you want
to break all the sales records in your office?
Self-Healing and Development
Do you ever feel as though you could do more with your life? Wish
you could have better health?
Understanding Your Dreams
Do you ever wonder what your dreams mean?
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